It is time to give up on the “opposites attract” stereotype. It is fake. To achieve happiness and harmony in relationships it is recommended to look for someone like you.
The basics of the former attitude
Relationships can be explained as “a result of the exchange of goods and services”. This kind of interpretation comes from a stereotyped understanding that associates romantic relationships with the trade concept: partners desire different things from each other.
Have you ever wondered why a young, beautiful woman is married to that old rich man? It is very simple: both of them found what they were looking for. In other words, she had something that he needed and vice versa. In addition, it is based on one-dimension demand.
Probably a naïve romantic can find this reality disappointing, but let’s be honest with ourselves. People tend to calculate, so it makes sense why we have a natural instinct to “get the most out of a partner for what we’re offering”.
This point of view places our preferences on gender differences. Which means that males lean on choices based on physical attractiveness (a partner’s ability to reproduce), meanwhile females give a priority to partner’s ability to provide resources.
Quid pro quo
The latest studies prove that an “opposites attract” approach is out of date. In the contemporary world long-term stable relationships are appreciated. People are looking for a durable and reliable connection. For this reason, beautiful moments or challenging situations are managed better among like-minded people. It is easier to come up with a mutual agreement.
This rule applies to our appearance too. People not only calculate, they tend to rate themselves and others as well. For instance, a person, who ranks itself highly on a specific characteristic, will have more demanding requirements to potential candidate on the same feature. Quid pro quo (“something for something” in Latin)
So, we do look for someone like us. Similar traits help partners stay on similar level and grow together at the same speed. And this is what it makes a pair bond last.
So, if you want to be happy in a relationship, find one that matches you disregarding all social and cultural stereotypes. Happily ever after is possible if you are rational about yourself.